Without the sparring stance, he’s useless. After that he’s more cooked than a chicken fried alligator. Taking out a karate practitioner is fairly easy. Sadly, that doesn’t stop every sad karate practitioner from trying to use some big name to justify their art. Ever wonder why karate is often mentioned but never actually used in UFC? Because traditional karate practitioners have one style of fighting…playing tag. Kumite on the other hand is basically putting up your dukes and seeing who can lightly tap the other guy first when the Sensei says “go!”. Kata is a pattern of moves to give you the illusion of fighting multiple attackers who apparently have no problem coming at you one at a time, and with the speed of the slower-than-frozen-syrup lizard monster Captain Kirk fought. Karate is broken down into two parts: kumite and kata. In truth karate taught me as much about fighting as home economics would teach about kayaking. It is possible you have the impression that by taking karate you will radiate such confidence that everyone would be afraid to mess with such a highly trained killing machine. So for your pleasure here’s 5 Reasons why Karate is Useless, all in good humor of course. That’s what you get for being an 80’s kid I suppose, but I guess you have to start somewhere. Thinking back, I suppose I can trace the flash point for my joining the dojo life down to one man: Mr.
But sometimes things that start off so fantastic, well…fizzle out and walking away becomes the best option. Even to this day I hold the highest respect for the man who is one of the last of a dying breed of true karate-ka. To give some background, I trained nearly fifteen years in Shotokan karate under the watchful eye of the infamous Yutaka Yaguchi Sensei, so to say my training was traditional would be the understatement of the century. So what happened? In short a lightbulb went off, I had a walk in the snow, and I finally knew it was time to get out of Dodge.
Karate was my past-time that grew to overtake all else. Honor, loyalty, and everything that Mutant Turtles and Canadian Maple Syrup stood for. That’s how much of my life was spent pursuing the perfect front kick. Please accept this in the spirit that was intended. I never regret taking karate, but I also have no fun poking fun at it. *Before anyone freaks out…again…about this article, know that I only hurt the ones I love.
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